Sister to a Special Needs Brother #1: Pain, Beauty, Condescension

It is my tendency to assimilate other people’s emotions that allows me to feel as much pain as Yasin does when he is upset or angry. It is akin to being a special needs child myself – being debilitated with this pain. Yasin feels my pain and then his pain is exacerbated and the cycle repeats itself. Of course, this means that I feel his happiness too and that is wonderful. He sees and responds to beauty easily and I share his wonder and fascination.

I am very taken with Yasin’s physical beauty. He is beautiful. His complexion is fair, smooth and delicate, his mouth is like a crescent moon and his eyes are a taupe brown. His hair curls at the ends and his body is lithe and graceful. Don’t get me wrong – he is not effeminate. He is delicate and refined, but not effeminate. Yasin is not conceited about his beauty, rather he seems to regret it – he gets too many kisses on the cheek and pats on the nose because he is considered ‘adorable’. Whenever I see Yasin after a long absence, I am always startled by how seraphic he looks and how in this regard, we are not two peas in a pod. After a few moments of being seraphic, he drops the attitude and puts on his most mischievous grin. Then, I can say we are two peas in a pod.

I never condescend to Yasin. I hate being condescended to myself. I speak to him as I would an adult, and I take his opinions very seriously. Yasin is one of the only people I can talk to without lowering my level of speech. He grants me a respite from ‘dumbing down’ and using hyperboles every minute and using slang and uttering profanity. It is truly lovely to have a brother who listens so well. Many people condescend to Yasin. Maybe it is because he can’t talk yet, or that he can’t focus and look at your eyes, but people generally treat him like a baby, when he is four years old.

 

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